at times....

“Time sometimes seems to fly
and we learn to run by
Lest we get left behind…”

“…and when everything seems haphazard
the mind then reduces to a blizzard
Yet, we learn to sport a smile,
and when confronted, say - hey, I’m fine!”


There are times when a zillion things seem to run about in one’s head. Yet, there’s some sort of an empty feeling, the feeling of vacuum, as if the mind is completely blank. The swaying of the leaves in the light breeze, the flight of birds in the high skies…all that simply goes unnoticed. The hot coffee turns cold, the rain ceases to pour, amidst which, all that is recalled is staring out into the vast openness.
Sleep refuses to make way for the tired self, because all that the mind yearns to do is gaze into the still of the cold night, into the huge arena we call the skies, as though in search of an angel to come down and kiss you goodnight.
The angels do come; they take the form of rain. The rain washes away the dirt, and appears to take with it what’s hurt. The Sun shines back and the smile returns. On similar lines that there is nothing equal to nature’s fury, there’s nothing comparable to nature’s warmth either!

Transcendental....

“A plane flying in the skies suddenly burst into flames! All of a sudden, there’s a deserted island…all that were visible was just the vast expanse of water around. The panicky feeling rises higher. Out of nowhere, a cabin appears. The breathing grows harder, thirst so much that it clenches the throat. The door opens to the cold wind, only to reveal darkness, just plain darkness. The eyes try hard to get adjusted to the darkness. Even before mustering courage to begin groping around in the dark, a blinding light makes its appearance…the light is followed by a sound, a loud screech!”

She woke up with a jolt and opened her eyes. Her heart was pounding really loud, she was shivering. She looked around the room to confirm if everything was all right, if all this was just a bad dream. Her throat was parched, and she reached out for water, only to realize she hadn’t kept water with her! She looked at the clock beside her. It had been just ten minutes ago that she had gone to sleep! She winced…was this something serious? It always followed the same course- she’d sleep, then, there’d be the illusions, the sounds, and she would find herself wide awake! It had been quite many days since she had slept well, and the stress of having had to lose sleep daily showed evidently in her eyes. What she wouldn’t give for being able to sleep well, to sleep like a baby, with absolutely no worries, no dreams, no thoughts whatsoever!

After all this, it was difficult to go back to sleep again, and she just tossed and turned in her bed. This idle-mind state brought back more thoughts. To push the worries, she sat up working, then, decided against it and began staring at the skies, with some soothing music in the background. Slowly, she relaxed and drifted to sleep, though, she still could hear the music in the background…sweet music, just music, no words. Slowly, she grew oblivious of the music also, and there was silence.

This time the cruise was going down as people watched with shock from the shore. The uproar against malfeasance at this other place seemed to capture her attention now. All of a sudden, a huge wave caught her unaware, and she was soaked to the skin. Even before she could take cover, the big tower clock struck twelve - CLANG!!! Eyes wide open, back to the panicky feeling, there she was…wide awake again!

Love you Mom!

You were the one who stayed up whilst I was ill; didn’t care a bit about your pains, your appointments/schedules. You kept an eye on me all night, lest I need something at those odd hours. I know how unmanageable and restless I used to get as a kid when I used to be running a temperature., and it was always you who used to pacify me, with all your soothing, sweet talk. You endured all my tantrums, to just take me to the doctor, and even cared to bribe me after that, so I’d end up happy finally. Later, you always even made sure that I didn’t end up being abashed about the tantrums I threw. You’d feel on top of the World with a thing as small as me being applauded for trivial things back at kindergarten. Later on, you’d stay up through the night, to get a dress ready for me to strut off the next day, at some kind of gathering in college. Needless to say, you have supported all my desires, and supported me in accomplishing them. Most importantly, you reasoned out with me when they weren’t logical. It is said that we shouldn’t apologize to those whom we call ours, and so, I won’t go apologetic over my wrong-doings, or my temper that shows up at times, since I know you would’ve forgiven me for all those the very next moment, and wished for me to see reason in my doings.

I do understand that you aren’t like everyone else, in terms of pampering us openly, in front of people and sorts…still, I know from the bottom of your heart, you think of us always… if I have had my lunch, if I got to eat properly, if I’ve been sleeping well, if I’m in some kind of pain, and wishing me to be relieved of all the pains, if any. In fact, I’ve never been quite the expressive kind that you sometimes might have expected of me..however, sometimes when I did complain of some sort of pain, you had selflessly wished that pain to be taken away from me, and be given to you! I never did speak out so, but mom, we love you, and I’m not saying so just because it’s Mother’s day tomorrow (coincidentally), be it any day, I will always love you. I might not be the perfect daughter, but, as always, I shall keep striving to be the daughter you always wished to have, one that makes you feel proud and one that’ll always strive to make you happy. Looking back now, I can proudly say I’m the confident person that I am, thanks to you, and of course, dad too! We love both of you loads!

This ain’t a random post

After a very long gap, here I am, in a very contemplative mood today. It’s just one of those days when you just can’t stop pondering….funnily enough, there doesn’t seem to be one single topic. It all began with me having a very bad cold, and a worse cough. Tracing back to what could have been the cause for it… could be because I drenched in the rain the other day! The Rains!! Aah! Weren’t they welcome this time around! The summer had gotten really “summery” this time. The rains…what could have been the cause for the delay this year? Deforestation...how foolish can people get., and how many more trees are going to be chopped down? Face it people, we are alive today; thanks to the plant life around us...else, humans would’ve followed the lines of dinosaurs, or worse, wouldn’t even have come into existence! The rains…isn’t it just a wonderful thing to just stare out of the window while it’s raining, isn’t it so pleasant when the first few drops fall on the dry earth, isn’t it even beautiful when it suddenly stops raining, and a prominent rainbow shows up in the clear blue skies? Rainbows…seven colors, I’m sure, couldn’t have been stacked in a more beautiful manner! Makes me want to thank the creator for having given me the vision and the sense to perceive the beautiful sights created. A sudden bolt of lightning, followed by a loud clap of thunder had shaken me out of my trance. It occurred to me that this probably is Nature’s way to remind us of the harsh realities that lie before us! My attention shifted over to the News heard over the past days. The killings at Virginia Tech., more terrorist attacks in places of worship in India., people being killed by their own siblings., terrorists claiming innocent lives at the most unexpected of times…was this all intended by the creator? What is it that makes one human being turn against another? Where are all the values and principles of “peaceful coexistence”, etc that were taught to us back at school? Is all that just restricted to being the contents of a textbook? Why preach when one can’t practice the same? Why is jealousy so rampant everywhere we go? If it is said and believed that each person is blessed with a different strength; it’s all relative on how the person recognizes the strength, and exploits it…then, why curse other people instead of building on our strengths? Is it really difficult to face reality? Why is it that we sometimes see pleasure in the tiniest of things while at some other times, cease to notice the bigger and the better things also? Don’t you just feel like smiling when you see a small child so happy playing by itself in the heap of sand…doesn’t it spread some kind of warmth over you? All the same, many a times, all the comforts fail to brighten us; and just a walk brightens your day like nothing before! Ultimately, we do realize that we are on this planet with a purpose; a life without a purpose is no life at all! While working towards the purpose, we tend to get selfish, and lose out on our humbleness. Nothing in this world is permanent…that’s reality. So, whilst we are here, it would be worth the while if we could begin to notice the good things that nature has bestowed on us…just to make ourselves happy! It might sound like a selfish motive, but as long as we don’t hurt anybody/anything, being selfish is permissible! If so, why do many people try and attain salvation? What’s salvation, or as our scripts term it, Moksha? I’m no philosopher, but, I do understand that salvation is “Redemption from the power and penalty of sin”…that means, we do know we have sinned, and are working towards warding that guilt away! That sure isn’t a selfish thing! What is the purpose of a life when we aren’t happy with it ourselves? I’m not saying we have to be perfectionists everywhere…we can definitely not rule over nature, and that; nature has shown to us in many ways. Why fight when we can sort things out with talks? Why kill when we can leave in harmony? Why destruct when we can construct? Why hate, when we have the power of love? These, and many other questions, I’m afraid, will always remain unanswered. Speaking of questions, I get a better one, why think of unpleasant things, while there are lots of pleasant thoughts awaiting us? Brings me back to the roots of my reverie., and now, I remember I haven’t watered my plants today. How fresh the leaves look when you sprinkle water on them…it feels as though the plant is smiling back at you, thanking you for taking care of it. Reminds us, it’s our turn to give back something to nature, to do something that isn’t going to go waste! What sort of things could be done? I get back to pondering, while I go attend to my plants.

Well, this surely isn’t one of those times when I feel I’m at a loss of words. Just thinking over them would have eventually washed the thoughts away; here, I can at least expect a few people to ponder along with me. What say?

Say Cheese!!!

It was the time of the year again. No, not Christmas, not Halloween, and definitely not New Year’s! Well, it was the time for me to go to the photo studio, to get my picture taken. I think I have made my point quite clear…yeah, I loathe doing that!
Like I had any other option, with people asking one literally everyplace I go…so, when I finally felt I had postponed it enough, and with around three days to go before I REALLY needed one, and me not being the last-minute-preparation kind of person (in the literal sense :P), I finally went to this place.
Here, I find worthy of mention, the most important thing I feel that goes in choosing a photo studio being, you should have never gone there before! Well, that applies for me atleast, because I have a strange feeling that I normally goof up (I realize that after I see the picture) and I have a stronger feeling that the people there remember that, even after the many months that elapse.

Well, there I was, at a studio I had never visited before. The helper there showed me inside, motioned to the mirror, and a rack near it. I looked into the rack out of curiosity, only to see a couple of combs, and some other stuff. A cleanliness freak that I am, I’d never even think of using others’ things, so, I just turned to the person, said I felt I looked fine, and was lead to sit on the chair, till the photographer came in.

In came the photographer. A few suggestions given by him had me feeling more conscious, and I managed a constrained smile at the camera. He clicked, and at that very moment, my eyes chose to shut! I had to brave another click, and this time, my eye didn’t make me feel more embarrassed that I already was! (Whew!)

Picture captured, the guy showed me the picture….and surprisingly enough, contrary to my belief that I wasn’t in the least bit photogenic, that picture turned out to be quite good! Amazed at myself, I walked out of the studio, a jubilant look on my face. Still, one never knows when I might need to replenish my stock of pictures, and not ready to take any more chances with myself, I got it stored in a CD, so that I could use it till I remain even a tiny bit recognizable.

Now that the picture’s near perfect, I get to flaunt it too, and most importantly, I don’t need to do the “hide-my-picture-from-others-while-I-stick-it” act!

IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT A COMMON THING?

The other day, it was around 3.30 AM, during my semester holidays. My parents had told me to consider following a normal routine atleast during the holidays, but, to no avail! I had had a long day, with no sleep during the day either. However, out of sheer habit, I just couldn’t pull myself to sleep at the sane hours. I just realized the coming day would be an early and an equally hectic one., so, I reluctantly pulled my face and mind out of the monitor, and the other things I was trying to complete and decided to get some shut-eye. Barely had my head touched the pillow, when I remembered an important point I had missed. Infuriated with myself for having forgotten that earlier, (in my defense, I knew something was amiss!) I kicked my blanket aside, only to begin working in front of the computer again!

I wasn’t just a single thing…a couple of months before the above said incident, on another tiring day, I was just drifting away into my much deserved sleep, when I realized the mistake I had made while debugging a certain program, due to which I wasn’t getting the desired outputs. I slept anyways, pushing aside the fact that I could forget such an important thing. Yeah, you guessed it right! I woke up the next morning, only to realize that I had indeed forgotten!!! (AARGH!!) Well, eventually, I did solve the program, but, had to go about it a longer, more conventional way (I somehow still feel that such sudden brain-waves are a lot more easier than the painful conventional means :P)

Two events I could remember…vividly. So, here I am, at 3.53 AM on another day; sleep evaded me today also…Yeah, I got this idea, and had to post it…and No, I’m not taking any more chances!

EVERY LOVE STORY NEED NOT HAVE THE "...AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER..." KIND OF ENDING

Disclaimer: All characters in this post are fictitious. Any resemblance whatsoever to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

“I was waiting for so long

For a miracle to come

Everyone told me to be strong

Hold on, and don't shed a tear

Through the darkness and good times

I knew I'd make it through

And the world thought I had it all

But I was waiting for you…”

(So coos Celine Dion in her song, “A New Day Has Come”)

She was listening to this song, and was able to associate her life with it too, all the way. She did wait, with immense patience, through the years…however, all that remained with her were the memories. Memories of the good times she’d had with him, memories of the hours she’d spent spinning dreams, memories of the closeness they’d had of being good friends, memories, memories, memories! That was it...and she wasn’t complaining either! She had always had had his best interests in mind, so, had let go, without as much as hinting to him about her feelings for him.

He was away, with a newly found life, a newly found partner, happy with his own simple joys…she just couldn’t fight back those tears. She was faced with the difficult task of having to let go; let go of the dreams, let go of the desires, let go of the fantasies, let go of thoughts about/for him, let go of everything…all for old time’s sake. She knows she might have to come face to face with him some day, the way old friends do. She’d then be faced with the Herculean task of putting on a brave, yet casual front. She consoles herself, saying that shouldn’t be difficult, since she’d been doing that all the while, through the years!

Life moves on., and hopes always remain that love succeeds. In case it doesn’t, there are the memories. Memories seem to be immortal…they either get passed on, or go down with us. Yet, all apart, they do come in handy. It’s those happy memories that had helped her get over him, she realized. It was indeed the thought of him being happy that had consoled her. In an idle-mind state one day, she gets nostalgic., remembers those good times, smiles; probably gives way to a few silent tears too. The consolation she then offers herself is simple, and widely used…”time indeed happens to be the best healer. Everything takes its own time, and all that’s required is endurance to bear that time”.

It did rain some day. Her mind then did a reverse journey into time; while she sat sipping coffee in her room, smelling the sweet scent of fresh rain on Mother Earth. The incessant rain reminded her of all the dreams of “them” that she’d woven, those which were probably never going to be realized. The optimism in her was a tiny speck now and she broke into tears, probably for the last time. She wiped her tears away and stared out of the window into the rain. The breath-taking scene out calmed her and magically seemed to make her forget her pains. It made her break into a smile…one that made her look radiant. She shut her eyes for a while, asking of Mother Nature to give her strength to move on, and all the while, hoping the best of things for him too. She opened her eyes, and got lost in deep tranquility. The clouds faded away and the Sun shone its warm rays. There, was the new Sun!

She did see the light in the sky; she did get touched by an angel with love; the rains did come down and wash her tears away…but, it failed to take her fears with it. She did however, find new strength in the eyes of a boy, and it had felt good being down there, in love. It made her realize what she’d never understood before…of all the pure things known to exist, Love is the purest! Her optimism came shooting back to her. Many new days came and left, hours elapsed, nothing beyond memories remained. The Sun had shone upon her, and she’d adapted to the ways of life, since realization dawned that it doesn’t always happen otherwise!

YESTERDAY I KNEW NOTHING, TODAY I KNOW THAT

I turned a year older recently, and was contemplating whatever I’ve learnt so far in my life. Come to think of it, quotes and the likes have always inspired me and my actions. This post contains a quote for each day in one month, assuming, of course, 30 days in a month. A few of them have been authored by me, most of them, however, have been taken from various sources. I’ve also tried to mention the names of the famous people who’ve authored some of the following (not me) wherever I could find out. Read on and be inspired [:P]

01. Clapping, apparently is good for the heart (a piece of trivia shared by a Prof. after a certain bad event). Henceforth, even if any event's bad, CLAP HARD! Since, all you'll be doing is enhancing your health. (Oh, by the way, that sure drew a lot of applause...so, proves it!)

02. Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill. (Danish Proverb)

03. Trust is the most important aspect of ANY relationship. There's no trust, there can be no relationship. On similar lines, as quoted by Henry Ward Beecher, 'Faith is spiritualised imagination' .

04. The ultimate secret of being tiresome is to tell everything [;)]

05. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. (H H Munro)

06. A wee bit of patience, coupled with the ability to think rationally can alone help avoid many accidents (mishaps, misunderstandings all inclusive).

07. When everything's perfect, it's invisible...but, when it's flawed, it prompts strong negative associations. (Marilyn Vos Savant)

08. Do just what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again. (James R Cook)

09. The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and watch somebody else do it wrong, without commenting. (T H White)

10. There are not any (should not be any) regrets in life, only lessons. This is because, being defeated is a temporary condition...giving up is what makes it permanent.

11. Dreams have only one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely. (Erma Bombeck)

12. It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final. (Roger Babson)

13. Imagination is ONE weapon in the war against reality. (Jules de Gaultier)

14. Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you are upto. (received via mail)

15. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone! (Anthony Burgess)

16. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

17. Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
(Victor Hugo)

18. Speak when you are angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
(Ambrose Bierce)

19. It is better off being witty that being plain impertinent; as somebody as quoted.. "Wit is educated insolence". If rude, you are scoffed at. However, if you are what I call 'witty rude', you get praised for your wit!

20. If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. (Maya Angelou)

21. Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams...but, no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love and understanding. (Louis Gerstner)

22. Good judgement comes from experience, and often, experience comes from poor judgement. (Rita Mae Brown)

23. You might laugh at me because I'm different...but, I laugh back at you because you are all the same!

24. To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
(Marilyn Vos Savant)

25. The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause for it. (Al Batt)

26. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent. (Langston Coleman)

27. Believe in oneself more than you believe anybody else, because nobody can be more honest with you than yourself. Before proceeding to do anything, have a pep talk with your conscience; and take the next step only when you are sure.

28. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. (Will Rogers)

29. Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving, but makes no progress. (Alfred A Montopert)

30. At the end of the day, don't let your ego empower over you...remember, we are nothing but tiny entities in this large arena, the Universe.